Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Has anyone noticed that the Land day is on th 31st of march and not on the 30th???

has anyone noticed that usually, similar days in the year come in the same month, or in the same week, like the the mothers day and the womens day are no more than 10 days apart. New year and christmas are also no more than a week away.Has anyone noticed how far is Lands day to Aprils fool??

lets look at it in a closer way. on the 31st you celebrate the Lands day, to remember how your country (or palestine in case your not Palestinian), has been ravaged as a land, stolen as a country, confiscated as an identity, so you celebrate the day, as away to say NO, to say i do NOT accept, i will NOT surrender...Then on the 1st of april, you celebrate Aprils Fool, to remember that not everythinbg is for real, that sometimes its ok to lie, that we always say things that we dont mean...intentionally, that life isnt always true to us, that sometimes saying a lie is not that bad, but actually funny, and traps the person in a state of laughter, at least for a couple of minutes.

Suggestion: make the two days into one, this way, its more meaningful !!!

PS (the Palestinian Syndrome

This note might be very offensive, so if you are sensitive do NOT read it:

This is true, really, there is a new disease, its for real, this disease is called, the Palestinian Syndrome, if you arent sure if you have it it or not, read this:

Palestinain Syndrome has too many symptoms, and can actually be confused with many other diseases, one important test that can really help you find out who has it, is the Cafeteria Table test:

1. Sit away, real far from everybody, notice people as they come in.

2. look for the case you want to study, he/she has to be alone, without their friends, in case they came with a group of people, then try to get more people with you to do the test.(normally the ratio should be equal or more than 1:1).

3. Approach the table slowly, (and if you are with a group choose the one who will speak before you start moving)

4. In a low voice, with hesitation, say that this table, this place is yours, try to sound very gentle, and still very shy.

5. do NOT say that you always sit here, on the contrary, say that you were sitting here like 10 minutes ago, and you would feel really comfortable if you were to sit in this place. if you face a refusal, try your best to insist, but still in a very gentle way.

6. If the Person/People moved to another place, then the result is positive (i.e. they have it), otherwise, move to the next step.

7. If they choose to stay, grab a chair, preferably if you are with people who are helping you, and sit down, act as if nothing is wrong, act NORMALLY, chat with the people with you, or order coffee or food, you can also act as if you are reading a newspaper or a book. Wait for 10 minutes, if he/she remains there then they are definetly clean, otherwise, if they show signs of anger, AND leave then they have it.

how bad do they have it??

Always check where the patient heads to after they leave, if they just leave the whole place this would be called PS class A, if they go to another table, and start bitching about it, this would be called PS Class 2B (the most dangerous)Other details are also relevant, for example, if you wait at the occupied table, the patient might return back after a while, or try returning back, they never do it directly, they would start demanding the so called "right of return".Patients with highest chance of surviving the disease are those who use violence, other than that, it is a very hopeLESS case.

The best cure

I will one day discover the cure of all depressions.This will come in the shape of eye-drops, cheap to produce but expensive to buy. Many people ask me how, the answer is simple, these eyedrops work on burning your eyes as soon as they touch them...in this part of earth, its slowly becoming relaxing not to see. Some, however, suggested that also listening would create such depressions. I thought about it and found a cure in the form of earphones. These earphones explode in your ears tearing them apart. Special offers will be engineered, if you're our lucky customer for today, your whole brains will explode, all for free when you buy our latest relieving products

"We need new golden populations" Jim Morrison

Not poetry

this is not poetry, and its not anything else either:

Like in all other countries... women smile here, occasionally with twisted desires and apparent innocence... women here love lesbian adventures with mirrors and movie stars. Men here are also the same, they hate themselves late at night, love themselves with reflective sun glasses and horny plasic female bodies. Suicide is another way of expressing sexual desire.I've always been in love with Plu Maria, but never died before...I am still waiting, patiently, for those flowers to triger Suicide from my pistol.

Dark

This is something I've veen working on recently, its a kind of poetry, combining the dark style of the French poetry in the late 1800s, and a bit of a post modern style, the original idea is taken from a play, done here in amman (al-Shareef) about 3 months ago::

His sister wailed and cried after his death,his wife, horrified, shaved her head and polished her finger-nails,his daughter soon turned to darkness and silverware...Now, twice a year or twice a month, bacchanalian activities join them.He, on the other side of the apple, watches sometimes,enjoys it with a smile,Occasionally they feel him around,participating with soft vengence and a cool breeze...one thing for sure i can say...they do enjoy it on lonely devine Sundays.

"oh great creator of being,grant us one more hour to perform our art,and perfect our lives" Jim Morrison.

Conspiracy behind "good morning"

yes, there is a conspiracy behind it, believe it or notso as you wake up (in an arab country, again) and someone tells you "good morning", your answer should be: "reaaaaally, do you think so, you really think that this day, in this place, will start by a good morning, a really fine smooth good morning"good morning here is a very unrealistic expression, its not real, when you wake up in Sweeden for example, you can definetly say "Helllo there everybody, Goood morning" but when you wake up in a pool of violence, poverty, and backwardness, can you really say it??there is a conspirace behind good morning, its only there to either:

1. keep people disappointed, you know, you dont want peoples hopes to be met, nooooooo, you keep them disappointed by saying "good morning" and then, when they leave their homes, they have to go into the lousy public transportation, the unbearabe frowning faces everywhere, this way, you make sure they will be disappointed.

2. In some cases, its only a lie, just to make you live in this unrealistic moment where you think there is something good going around, its only a lie, just like when you hear that prices will go down but they never do, or when you hear unemployment went down, but you know it didnt

so, as a solution, i came up with a few other greetings to be used instead:

person one :fuck abu mazen.
person two :fuck dahlanor,

if you are in a globalized mood this day:

person one :fuck the UN
person two :fuck the US

well you can always keep it close like:

person one :fuck the public transportation
person two :fuck the public

and so on, actually you can make a loong list about realistic greetings in the morning. or at night.